Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Day 5

I am not going to lie, today was tough. I feel like I have been doing pretty well emotionally, until I walked in this morning. Isabella's blood pressure was still fluctuating. She had a cloth over her eyes to block out the light. I moved the cloth so I could say good morning. I wasn't expecting her eyes to be open (they have been closed for the better part of 4 days now) but they were. Her eyes were open, but she was so sedated that she wasn't there. She wasn't moving or blinking, just staring. I got really emotional and had to leave the room. I went in to this surgery thinking we would be going home by day 5, but we really aren't any further along than we were on day 2. Everything just kind of hit me at once and I had to take a step back and realize that I can not compare her to other babies who have gone through this surgery, she will be ready in her own time.

That brings me to the results of Isabella's echo. They were not as good as we had hoped. It looks like BOTH valves are worse than they were right after surgery. The left valve WAS a mild-moderate (leakage) now it's severe and the right valve WAS mild and now its moderate. This is what is causing her blood pressure to fluctuate. The plan is to keep trying to push her to see how far she can go (as far as weaning and extubation) and see how she does. The doctor told me there is a very real chance they will have to do another open heart surgery to try a repair the valves. They will see what kind of progress she has made in 2-3 days and then go from there. If she is able to tolerate the extubation and go home we will have to get an echo EVERY month to monitor the valve, and most likely have another surgery at 2-3years old to replace the valve. Also - they put her on two different antibiotics because she is starting to show signs of an infection. This news was extremely tough to hear, especially after the morning I had, but I realize I have to take it one day at a time.

Earlier today I was scrolling through the pictures in my phone (I love seeing pics of Isabella's sweet face w/o the vent & pics of my sweet boy) and I came across a verse that saved a while ago that was perfect for today. "Many plans are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand. - Proverbs 19:21. I seriously have to be reminded of this constantly. I can plan, worry, and stress, but in the end NONE of that matters! The Lord has a plan for Isabella. He knows exactly what he is doing. All I have to do is put my trust in HIM knowing that his will will prevail no matter what.

Please keep praying for our sweet girl!! Praising & Praying!!! Thank you & God Bless! 

"For nothing will be impossible with God" Luke 1:37

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